At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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