Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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