Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You were trust falling into bushes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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