Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
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