ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
