the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
