I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize