is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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