I wish I could teleport
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Floor bacon is actually really good
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
