end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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