He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She told me I should be a condom model.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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