I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
