i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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