They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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