I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
