My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
