We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize