I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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