Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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