just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
