I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
