heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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