who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
