Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Alive.
So much puke
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
