if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
