They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
