The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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