Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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