she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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