I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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