For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
