A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
