I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
