I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
