true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
