that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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