ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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