Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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