he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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