I hope mine doesn't look like that
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
