We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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