i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
