Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
