I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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