I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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