Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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