Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize