Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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