Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
