No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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