I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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