So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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