just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My Sexting was not on an AP level
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
