he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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