someone owes me an orgasm
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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