she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
