I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
