I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
