I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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