What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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