i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
