I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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