Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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