My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
