The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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