ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
